School

Today, we woke up when our bodies woke up. I was first, before the kids, but usually Dominick is up before I am. I got some laundry started and hopped in the shower. By the time I was done, the kids were all up and watching Dominick play a video game. We got dressed, ate breakfast, did the dishes and headed out. After a quick stop at the dollar store for some journals and bags of chips, we drove to a nearby nature preserve. On the way, we listened to The Miraculous Journey of Edward Toulane on audio book.

It was a beautiful day. We took a walk on the bridge-like path that goes through the nature preserve, winding across the grass and over the water. We saw lots of large birds that were too far away to identify (we need to remember binoculars next time!) watched fish swimming in and out of the tall grasses, watched and identified two different kinds of turtles, identified a few different kinds of trees and read countless little snippets of information about the wildlife around us. Aravis colored and wrote down things in her notebook. Dominick and I took pictures and videos. And though, we were a little tired, hungry and whiny at the end, it was a great time.  Afterwards, we stopped for some lunch and headed to Target to do our weekly grocery shopping.

 The only Maple tree I've seen around here!

 Some sort of Crane......we think?

 Softshell Turtle

 Watching the Minnows

We have many days like this. Some days we stay home, some we go out. Some days are more exciting than others but most days, its the five of us, leisurely enjoying where life takes us. Living. Learning. Together.

It's wonderful.

 And it may all change.

 Dominick, who has a real talent and passion for music, auditioned for a music charter school on Saturday. And while I know music is where his heart is, my heart is aching just a little bit. It may be a wonderful and great opportunity for him. Being around music and other musicians and music classes and teachers may be something he loves. So, I've helped him find out the information, and apply for the audition and find something to play and encouraged him, but all the while, I feel like something might be dying. I love our life. I love having very few time constraints. I love not waking up to an alarm clock. I really love not waking up to an alarm clock. I love doing what we love. I love doing things together. I love being with my kids and having this time with them that I know I won't have forever. I love knowing what they've done with their day and watching them learn and grow. If he goes back to school, that will change. For him. For us.

He may not get in. It's a tough school to get into and they're looking for specific spots to fill. For his sake, I hope he gets accepted, whether he chooses to go or not. He may not like it. He may decide that two hours of music aren't worth the other five of school. He may. He may not. He may love it.  He may grow more than he would have at home. He may not. I can't predict any of that from this vantage point but I do know that if he goes, things will change and something beautiful will die. And so, I'm torn right now between wanting what's best for him and what he wants for himself and wanting to hold onto him and a lifestyle that I love. Ultimately, I believe that God has a plan for each of our lives. I believe that He knows what's best for us all, even more than Dominick and I do and I trust Him with my son and with our future.

So, 

I'll trust Him 

and I'll trust Dominick 

and I'll wait to see what next year brings.